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Peer
Education Program
Abstinence
What
is Abstinence?
Abstinence means waiting to choose
the right person, time and place to have sex. A decision to
abstain may be an evening or for years, or any time in between. Isn't
Abstinence Boring?
It doesn't have to be. Sexual
behavior isn't an all or nothing thing. Abstinence can include
hugging and kissing only. Or, for you, it could include some
intimate caresses. Or it might allow for everything except sexual
intercourse.
What you decide will depend on your reasons for choosing
abstinence. But you need to make your decision before you
get physically involved. The middle of a make-out session is not
the time to decide. What
if I've already had sex? Is it too late to choose abstinence?
Just because you've had sexual
relationships in the past doesn't mean that every new relationship
has to become sexual.
Nor does it mean that a current relationship has to remain
sexually intimate if you've changed your mind. It's natural for
people to reevaluate their choices. Often, experience prompts this
reevaluation.
Whatever the circumstances, you can approach each opportunity for
sex as a new decision. Learn from your experiences. What seemed
right at one stage in your life may not be right for your current
situation.
When
is Abstinence Right for Me?
Ask yourself the following questions. If you have
trouble answering them, talk with a friend. Talking about the
issues can help you figure out what you want to do.
My Values
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Why am I
choosing abstinence?
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What do I
mean by abstinence? What are my limits?
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What values
about sex was I raised with? How important are they to me now?
What will happen if I choose behaviors that are disapproved of
by my friends, family, culture, or religion?
My Future
My
Relationship
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What do I
want from a romantic relationship? Closeness? Physical
pleasure? Security?
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Am I ready
for this kind of commitment? Does having sex fit into my life
now?
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Can I talk
to my partner about sex? If I don't feel comfortable talking
about sex, am I ready to have sex?
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Can I and
will I do what it takes to protect myself and my partner from
sexually transmitted disease (STD) or unwanted pregnancy?
(Could I put on a condom in the dark?)
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How will I
feel if I have sex with someone and the relationship doesn't
last?
You're
Always a Sexual Person
Being abstinent doesn't mean you stop being a
sensual, sexual person. Sexual intercourse is only one way to
express affection and sexuality.
You might find that not having sex will make you appreciate your
sexuality more fully. Choosing to be abstinent can give you the
opportunity to explore other creative ways to express your
sexuality and affection.
Abstinence is a choice. It's a choice that can be made at
any time. It can be a lifelong choice, or one that lasts until the
time for having sex is right.
Ways to Say NO to Sex
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No, I'm not
in the mood.
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How about a
movie instead?
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I'm not
ready.
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I want my
first time to be special.
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I want to
be loved, not make love.
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It's
against my religion.
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I just want
to be friends.
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Not
everybody's doing it - I'm not.
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If we do it
now, it could ruin it later.
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I don't
know who else you've slept with.
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I want to
stay a virgin.
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This isn't
the right time.
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Let's get
tested for STD's first.
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Love isn't
just about sex.
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I'm not
ready to commit.
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I don't
want to get pregnant.
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I don't
want our relationship to be just about sex.
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It might
ruin our friendship.
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Let's wait.
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Please
respect my wishes.
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