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Peer Education Program
Got Consent?

Just the facts
Sexual consent means you have a clear "yes, this is OK with me" for every step during the course of any sexual activity.

The Non-Verbal Game
From University of New Hampshire

For those that say, “let your body do the talking,” consider the following:

Someone who is scared may: start to perspire, breathe quicker and heavier, shift their eyes around, feel their heart start to pump faster
Someone who is aroused may: start to perspire, breathe quicker and heavier, shift their eyes around, feel their heart start to pump faster

Scenario:
You are in the middle of “hooking up” with someone you met at a party. You're both drunk and have started to remove some clothing. It seems like you're both interested in having sex, but you don't know your partner's intentions.

Sometimes, it can be hard to tell the difference. The message received might be different from the message sent. The key here is that while non-verbal communication gives lots of clues, it is ambiguous. The best way to find out what someone really wants is to ask, have a conversation, listen to and respect what they have to say.

Communication is sexy!

Do you want to have sex?

You're kinda cute, can I kiss you?

Can I kiss you here? What about here?

I love you, so let's keep our clothes on tonight.

Can I give you oral pleasure?

Are we moving at an OK speed?

Do you like it when I touch you here?

I respect you, so I want to know the pace you want.

I believe that we could reach a state of mutual Nirvana if we engaged in sexual intercourse now. Would you like this?

Is this OK with you?

I really like you and want this to last, so let's take it slow.

Can you touch me over here?

Can I take your shirt off?

This isn't the right place or time, so let's wait.

I love you and want to have sex with you. What do you want?

It makes me hot when you touch me here, can you do that?

Is it OK if I take my pants off?

What do you want me to do to you?

Do you like sex toys? Do you want to play with them now?

I want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. But let's leave it there.

Sometimes, people think they mean one thing when they are saying something else. Here's some examples that are NOT consent for sexual activity even though some people mistakenly think they are:

Do you want to go back to my room? (consent only to go back to the room)

Should we get it on? (unclear what degree of sexual activity this refers to)

Do you want to keep dancing in my room? (ambiguous intent)

Do you want to get busy? (confusing – different ideas of what “busy” means)

Do you want to go to my place to watch a movie? (consent only to watch a movie)

http://www.consent.unh.edu/

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