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Peer Education Program
Got Consent?
Just the facts
Sexual consent means you have a clear "yes, this is OK
with me" for every step during the course of any sexual
activity.
The
Non-Verbal Game
From University of New Hampshire
For those that say, “let your body do the talking,” consider
the following:
Someone who is scared may:
start to perspire, breathe quicker and heavier,
shift their eyes around, feel their heart start to pump
faster
Someone who is aroused may: start to perspire, breathe
quicker and heavier, shift their eyes around, feel their
heart start to pump faster
Scenario:
You are in the
middle of “hooking up” with someone you met at a party.
You're both drunk and have started to remove some clothing.
It seems like you're both interested in having sex, but you
don't know your partner's intentions.
Sometimes, it can be hard to
tell the difference. The message received might be different
from the message sent. The key here is that while non-verbal
communication gives lots of clues, it is ambiguous. The best
way to find out what someone really wants is to ask, have a
conversation, listen to and respect what they have to say.
Communication
is sexy!
Do you want
to have sex?
You're
kinda cute, can I kiss you?
Can I kiss
you here? What about here?
I love you,
so let's keep our clothes on tonight.
Can I give
you oral pleasure?
Are we
moving at an OK speed?
Do you like
it when I touch you here?
I respect
you, so I want to know the pace you want.
I believe
that we could reach a state of mutual Nirvana if we
engaged in sexual intercourse now. Would you like this?
Is this OK
with you?
I really
like you and want this to last, so let's take it slow.
Can you
touch me over here?
Can I take
your shirt off?
This isn't
the right place or time, so let's wait.
I love you
and want to have sex with you. What do you want?
It makes me
hot when you touch me here, can you do that?
Is it OK if
I take my pants off?
What do you
want me to do to you?
Do you like
sex toys? Do you want to play with them now?
I want to
kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. But let's leave it
there.
Sometimes,
people think they mean one thing when they
are saying
something else. Here's some examples that are NOT consent for sexual activity even though some people
mistakenly think they are:
Do you want
to go back to my room?
(consent only to go
back to the room)
Should we get
it on?
(unclear what degree of sexual
activity this refers to)
Do you want
to keep dancing in my room?
(ambiguous
intent)
Do you want
to get busy?
(confusing – different ideas
of what “busy” means)
Do you want
to go to my place to watch a movie?
(consent only to watch a movie)
http://www.consent.unh.edu/
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